Make do and .....

Just because you young ones out there are managing your lives with grace and efficiency there is no reason why I shouldn't indulge in a few 'how-tos' to prepare you for the inevitable decline, with age, of the facilities you take so for granted at the moment that you don't even realise you have them.

Keep your teeth in tip top condition. Opening things presents a daily challenge.  Even without arthritic hands there is a weakening of wrist strength and finger pliability. Be ready to clamp your teeth around a bottle top to hold it steady while you turn the body of the bottle to the best of your ability. Better still, acquire a tool which grips  a lid and releases it as you turn a handle. (I know, it is rather difficult to envisage). I have two, one that is huge and stays in the kitchen and one little one that stays in my bag so that I don't have to go through the business of using my teeth in public. That look is not age appropriate.

A long shoe horn is also essential. Dressing one's foot is a long-term project when the floor is rather further down than your back can reach with ease.  Tie your shoe laces in a double bow. If they come loose in the street you will have to choose between the risk of tripping over them and the impropriety of sitting any old where while you do them up again.  Keep your manners in first-rate order. Your inner voice may well wish to tell a kind and willing passer-by who stops to help you while you wobble to your car over-burdened with stuff to go away with dispatch - except it is expressed internally in two words: one of four letters and the other of three. Indeed, watch your language all the time you are out and about. Four letter words are not a good look on the elderly, neither, except perhaps 'diet'.  Instead, say "thank you" nicely and, thus, stop your Mother turning in her grave.  Make friends in your veterinary practice. My aristocratic darling is too heavy for me to carry in his basket. A receptionist will come and pick him up on the few occasions he needs to be seen. If you have help in the house, (which I suggest you consider. It's surprising how hard it is to reach the top of a window from which you could have swung in  the forty days) get that person to peel things for you. It is also a good idea to have her/him wind your watch: stiff fingers, silly. Bathing: here there is a serious potential for hassle. Are you sure you can get out of a bath unaided? No? Then give it up. A shower is but a poor substitute for a bath for the relief of aching limbs but it is much easier to step in and out of. My local council installed an uplifting bath seat for me. This left me with water grazing the bottom of my bottom but left my tummy a stranded bump, sticking out, cold and terminally dry. .Above all, keep cheerful. The viscisitudes of old age have to be preferable to the alternative. Bore da